Expectations yield confirmations, disappointments, and surprises.

When I was nearing college graduation, I knew what I wanted. I wanted to serve on the mission field. The needs called out to me, and I could not imagine anything better to do with my time and education than help spread the Gospel throughout the world. I also hoped to have a family. Specifically, I wanted at least four kids--provided I found a husband, of course. Somehow I had graduated Wedding Bells University with no ring, but couldn't very well ask for my money back since I didn't actually pay for college ;)

I was thrilled to join TEN3 because it was such a perfect fit with what I was good at and passionate about. I remember TEN3's communications manager asked me after my first trip to Nigeria, "So is this what you are going to be doing for the rest of your life?" and I replied, "I know I'm called. I picture myself doing this at least another ten years, but our plan is still to pass it off to African staff eventually."

The other expectation that sticks out to me is when Anthony first started talking to me about becoming curriculum department head. I expressed hesitance, or expecting it would be years in the future, and he told me that "years in the future" he wanted to make me CEO. "And see that nice picture there?" (Referring to the picture of me and Christie on the left sidebar) "That lady next to you will be president."

Now, something like a decade later, so many things did not pan out the way we planned--we didn't get 350 schools, we didn't become the largest academic publishing house in Africa, or any sort of big organization. And I'm not becoming CEO. But, so many things I hoped for did come to pass. I am married to the very best man God had for me. I have four children. (The twins, btw, were born healthy on their due date!) I did spend roughly ten years working full-time with TEN3, and we did reach thousands of people with requested education. And Christie has now become president of TEN3. I am excited to see how she will take the organization forward. Just maybe one day, when my kids are less needy, I'll be active in the organization again. For now, we thank God for the answered prayers and the surprises, and continue on day by day.

I did used to say I wanted at least four kids.

From a communications standpoint, it probably looks like I'm doing nothing for the mission anymore, and truth be told, it gets very little of my time and attention anymore. When I had one baby, I thought, "Sure, I got this. I can be a working Mom." I was still attending meetings, republishing manuals, making decisions, advising, editing, and I don't remember what else. With a toddler and a baby, it became much harder, but I was still working on some of the requested primary school material, and excited that we had an intern eager to help. He and Anthony scheduled a trip to Tanzania to deliver the material to our partner schools there. The results of the trip were positive; the teachers especially loved the preliminary work I did on adapting our chronological Bible study for children.

Then in September I found out I was pregnant, and this one was totally unplanned. I confessed feeling quite overwhelmed--besides the stuff I still wanted to do for TEN3, we had just bought a house six months earlier and I was deep in projects to get it "up to snuff"--scraping and painting the exterior, sealing cracks and drafts, gathering sheet mulch material to make the soil viable for a garden, cleaning out the shed in hopes of making it more usable--how was I supposed to get all that done with a baby? Then in late December we had our ultrasound and found out it was TWO babies. At that point I just told the team, "I won't be doing much of ANYTHING for TEN3 anymore." No administrative work for sure, I can't reliably get it done. No curriculum design or conversion projects either. I couldn't even keep the newsletter up. I said the one thing I might be able to continue doing is writing the addendum chapters to our CTO Bible course to help teachers adapt it for children. That one I can do without a particular timeline, and without having to struggle to remember where I was in the development. "That's the one thing I want you to work on, then," Anthony said.

Now at 39 weeks, I'm in the struggle of waiting--I am so tired and swollen, and was a bit anxious last week since I was sent to the hospital for a night of monitoring, and even though both babies and I were doing fine, the doctors were still advising an immediate C-section. I declined and went home Saturday. I went to the birth center early Wednesday morning with contractions 4 minutes apart and lasting 2 minutes, but they slowed down when I got there, and about 1pm stopped completely. By 4pm, despite food, two naps, pumping, walking up and downhill in a nearby park, and I don't remember what else, they still had not resumed. The midwives asked if I wanted my water broken, and I said I was kind of okay either way. I then said we might as well get it over with, but upon feeling that if anything my cervix had regressed a bit and the lower baby was higher than a few hours prior, the senior midwife suggested that breaking my water might not be enough to get it going again, in which case I would have to go to the hospital, and they're not going to hear of doing anything but a C-section. So, with both babies still sounding fine on the monitor, I went home, and now three days later, we are still waiting. I guess the only real reason to be unhappy with the wait, though, is that Kenneth began his paternity leave Wednesday. I recommended that he go ahead and switch back to nights and start work again tonight to preserve as much time as possible to help me postpartum.

*Sigh* Thy will be done!

Pray for Kagoro

My first trip to Africa, we stayed in Kagoro, Nigeria. I loved so much the lush landscape, the passionate people, the adorable kids. In my 2016 trip to Nigeria, I passed through it in a car on the way between Jos and Gombe, and was informed they had been attacked by terrorists. We passed right by the ashy remains of cars that had been burned with people inside them.

Today we got this email from Christie: Please pray for Kagoro, its under attack. Many lives were killed and houses raised down on Sunday. The terrorists came back this night to finish what they’ve started, they intend to wipe out the entire Kagoro community. We need God’s intervention in Kagoro this night.