tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62834122388352148872024-02-20T03:59:49.821-06:00Drinking in life, pouring out serviceJennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.comBlogger167125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-51398171401124856162022-08-22T14:27:00.003-05:002022-08-22T14:27:38.311-05:00Expectations yield confirmations, disappointments, and surprises.<style type="text/css">
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When I was nearing college graduation, I knew what I wanted. I wanted to serve on the mission field. The needs called out to me, and I could not imagine anything better to do with my time and education than help spread the Gospel throughout the world. I also hoped to have a family. Specifically, I wanted at least four kids--provided I found a husband, of course. Somehow I had graduated Wedding Bells University with no ring, but couldn't very well ask for my money back since I didn't actually pay for college ;)
<p>I was thrilled to join TEN3 because it was such a perfect fit with what I was good at and passionate about. I remember TEN3's communications manager asked me after my first trip to Nigeria, "So is this what you are going to be doing for the rest of your life?" and I replied, "I know I'm called. I picture myself doing this at least another ten years, but our plan is still to pass it off to African staff eventually."
<p>The other expectation that sticks out to me is when Anthony first started talking to me about becoming curriculum department head. I expressed hesitance, or expecting it would be years in the future, and he told me that "years in the future" he wanted to make me CEO. "And see that nice picture there?" (Referring to the picture of me and Christie on the left sidebar) "That lady next to you will be president."
<p>Now, something like a decade later, so many things did not pan out the way we planned--we didn't get 350 schools, we didn't become the largest academic publishing house in Africa, or any sort of big organization. And I'm not becoming CEO. But, so many things I hoped for did come to pass. I am married to the very best man God had for me. I have four children. (The twins, btw, were born healthy on their due date!) I did spend roughly ten years working full-time with TEN3, and we did reach thousands of people with requested education. And Christie has now become president of TEN3. I am excited to see how she will take the organization forward. Just maybe one day, when my kids are less needy, I'll be active in the organization again. For now, we thank God for the answered prayers and the surprises, and continue on day by day.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-41573812989557228712022-04-30T10:31:00.000-05:002022-04-30T10:31:01.177-05:00I did used to say I wanted at least four kids.<style type="text/css">
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From a communications standpoint, it probably looks like I'm doing nothing for the mission anymore, and truth be told, it gets very little of my time and attention anymore. When I had one baby, I thought, "Sure, I got this. I can be a working Mom." I was still attending meetings, republishing manuals, making decisions, advising, editing, and I don't remember what else. With a toddler and a baby, it became much harder, but I was still working on some of the requested primary school material, and excited that we had an intern eager to help. He and Anthony scheduled a trip to Tanzania to deliver the material to our partner schools there. The results of the trip were positive; the teachers especially loved the preliminary work I did on adapting our chronological Bible study for children.
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Then in September I found out I was pregnant, and this one was totally unplanned. I confessed feeling quite overwhelmed--besides the stuff I still wanted to do for TEN3, we had just bought a house six months earlier and I was deep in projects to get it "up to snuff"--scraping and painting the exterior, sealing cracks and drafts, gathering sheet mulch material to make the soil viable for a garden, cleaning out the shed in hopes of making it more usable--how was I supposed to get all that done with a baby? Then in late December we had our ultrasound and found out it was TWO babies. At that point I just told the team, "I won't be doing much of ANYTHING for TEN3 anymore." No administrative work for sure, I can't reliably get it done. No curriculum design or conversion projects either. I couldn't even keep the newsletter up. I said the one thing I might be able to continue doing is writing the addendum chapters to our CTO Bible course to help teachers adapt it for children. That one I can do without a particular timeline, and without having to struggle to remember where I was in the development. "That's the one thing I want you to work on, then," Anthony said.
<p>
Now at 39 weeks, I'm in the struggle of waiting--I am so tired and swollen, and was a bit anxious last week since I was sent to the hospital for a night of monitoring, and even though both babies and I were doing fine, the doctors were still advising an immediate C-section. I declined and went home Saturday. I went to the birth center early Wednesday morning with contractions 4 minutes apart and lasting 2 minutes, but they slowed down when I got there, and about 1pm stopped completely. By 4pm, despite food, two naps, pumping, walking up and downhill in a nearby park, and I don't remember what else, they still had not resumed. The midwives asked if I wanted my water broken, and I said I was kind of okay either way. I then said we might as well get it over with, but upon feeling that if anything my cervix had regressed a bit and the lower baby was higher than a few hours prior, the senior midwife suggested that breaking my water might not be enough to get it going again, in which case I would have to go to the hospital, and they're not going to hear of doing anything but a C-section. So, with both babies still sounding fine on the monitor, I went home, and now three days later, we are still waiting. I guess the only real reason to be unhappy with the wait, though, is that Kenneth began his paternity leave Wednesday. I recommended that he go ahead and switch back to nights and start work again tonight to preserve as much time as possible to help me postpartum.
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*Sigh* Thy will be done!
JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-79232987948665806352022-03-22T17:54:00.001-05:002022-03-22T17:54:32.181-05:00Pray for KagoroMy first trip to Africa, we stayed in Kagoro, Nigeria. I loved so much the lush landscape, the passionate people, the adorable kids. In my 2016 trip to Nigeria, I passed through it in a car on the way between Jos and Gombe, and was informed they had been attacked by terrorists. We passed right by the ashy remains of cars that had been burned with people inside them.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo9DqO1mMq54hm7rBaN_mmMDGMzXJ-bzS6tF7VYqIsjUsRruQRSUhTdtBiVkNtVIxtzKOUQqKq9K-mMHu5-irhiqDD5Mx0_xMUvrp5XXUju7vUXwyi7pr0jAbPB1bdS8QZhcRffuRkCfgP34oIRaT6WnPqmwV6nPVdFtXcoS1olQC5B3GP-zAlvqZGng/s2048/Kagoro%20138Outside.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="320" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo9DqO1mMq54hm7rBaN_mmMDGMzXJ-bzS6tF7VYqIsjUsRruQRSUhTdtBiVkNtVIxtzKOUQqKq9K-mMHu5-irhiqDD5Mx0_xMUvrp5XXUju7vUXwyi7pr0jAbPB1bdS8QZhcRffuRkCfgP34oIRaT6WnPqmwV6nPVdFtXcoS1olQC5B3GP-zAlvqZGng/s320/Kagoro%20138Outside.jpg"/></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8hiEoD6N7BGSjoJDgMD96NXAEc-T65nJJi3V2Nfcw1UxymMvkmmv6NnJhMGkaGYrvdWMWjXYSpljPuPC7ILxIXBxnAtGrp7tP08vliiorLPmWuGljoTrR_t-WkLjPRoSFsPnrTK2CVPEVg0r6yEnAyg6FmwggztnWPBacVNa5t4ym1oxA4gMbBihszQ/s2048/Kagoro%20230Tower.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="320" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8hiEoD6N7BGSjoJDgMD96NXAEc-T65nJJi3V2Nfcw1UxymMvkmmv6NnJhMGkaGYrvdWMWjXYSpljPuPC7ILxIXBxnAtGrp7tP08vliiorLPmWuGljoTrR_t-WkLjPRoSFsPnrTK2CVPEVg0r6yEnAyg6FmwggztnWPBacVNa5t4ym1oxA4gMbBihszQ/s320/Kagoro%20230Tower.jpg"/></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjaRA3fS6-dFUZ1o5puO-NbJMyB7AwJmWL57pS90G_MQBAgkci3J11kt5mO_t7_9MX8jOYT5ODiQ90Uhjd5_jVN2KAUz5RckrPOQWtXThJjEEpFeYZOERfnup69FePViptvo3bWGt8KQoFQwNT5NHZy3NK2A0tiOt2YsHqlIWtn1cXJYhIRr3m8WUzeA/s3072/P1010254TrekkingThroughKagoro.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="320" data-original-height="2304" data-original-width="3072" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjaRA3fS6-dFUZ1o5puO-NbJMyB7AwJmWL57pS90G_MQBAgkci3J11kt5mO_t7_9MX8jOYT5ODiQ90Uhjd5_jVN2KAUz5RckrPOQWtXThJjEEpFeYZOERfnup69FePViptvo3bWGt8KQoFQwNT5NHZy3NK2A0tiOt2YsHqlIWtn1cXJYhIRr3m8WUzeA/s320/P1010254TrekkingThroughKagoro.JPG"/></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVJhdNeFrxAfdC0aIGxaPri-t6AW65LvHg6-xnWCc8ePPkhnk7Q_y6T4PshEnzxHKC6ltsbk4jIf1PQXaOfouK0uW3KRqQItr9vqrynXCvKkU0sDmig34T31GfBMogw0_iqSlHmS79QzLxJahAieeCBPVKMdCxaqJgzifTYln4BTULzVH6OM7dIuAJaQ/s3072/P1010265HikeUpTheMountain.JPG" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0; text-align: center; "><img alt="" border="0" width="320" data-original-height="2304" data-original-width="3072" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVJhdNeFrxAfdC0aIGxaPri-t6AW65LvHg6-xnWCc8ePPkhnk7Q_y6T4PshEnzxHKC6ltsbk4jIf1PQXaOfouK0uW3KRqQItr9vqrynXCvKkU0sDmig34T31GfBMogw0_iqSlHmS79QzLxJahAieeCBPVKMdCxaqJgzifTYln4BTULzVH6OM7dIuAJaQ/s320/P1010265HikeUpTheMountain.JPG"/></a></div>
Today we got this email from Christie:
Please pray for Kagoro, its under attack. Many lives were killed and houses raised down on Sunday. The terrorists came back this night to finish what they’ve started, they intend to wipe out the entire Kagoro community. We need God’s intervention in Kagoro this night.
JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-74454215999217240062021-01-31T18:03:00.001-06:002021-01-31T18:03:20.195-06:00Becoming what I preach<style type="text/css">
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<p>"How did I get this strong sense of value for sustainability and local work?" I asked my husband recently. We've been purposefully redirecting our life in various ways toward locally-sourced products and becoming more self-sufficient. I certainly wasn't raised that way. In a conversation a few months ago my mother didn't understand why I didn't want to just go to Walmart or Amazon to quickly get what I needed, instead of spending time considering where my options came from and the whole supply chain that produces them.
<p>"Your mission work," he replied.
<p> He's right. Serving with SIM made me more aware of the exploitation that goes on all over the world and want to do better. But even more profoundly was the fact that TEN3 has had to emphasize everywhere we work with people who want to start an education center, "You have to make it locally sustainable. We don't have money to give you. We can get you some used equipment to get you started, but no more than that. And your center will be better for it. It will be yours to direct how you want, how you feel God leading without being privy to a benefactor's priorities. You will understand how to use the hardware and software so much better when you learn to use free stuff and have to put it all together yourself." Part of our ministry's vision overview explains how dependence on foreign money broke first the Christian base of education in Africa, and then broke the whole educational system.
<p>So it only makes sense that from years of teaching that local sustainability is the best thing financially, environmentally, spiritually, and what will foster quality and longevity, it makes sense for that to be how I want to live my life too. It also certainly helps that my husband <a href=https://lbry.tv/@Canicus:1/localism:7>argues for it biblically</a>. Not to say that isn't hard. I once came to my husband nearly crying and saying, "You buy the guest bedroom sheets. I can't do it! It's just too exhausting to try to find something affordable, ethically sourced, sold through a small business ... " My lesson from that was that some of the changes have to happen in small steps.
<p>A big step, though, will be buying a house. We've been renting since we got married, but now are ready for our own place, and are praying for the right affordable house and land where we can make a comfortable, productive home. It's a bit of a challenge since this is a seller's market right now--it seems that the houses that aren't taken quickly, there is a reason for it! But, for all the ways I've questioned whether God has for us many successes and good things we hope for, I can be confident that God <b>does</b> have a place for us to live, and will make it clear where that is.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-34969218154320893322021-01-22T23:34:00.001-06:002021-01-22T23:34:37.495-06:00Doing and giving what I can <style type="text/css">
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<p>I suppose my resignation from SIM was timely, considering how overwhelming it's been caring for a baby-turning-toddler and an older toddler. Someone who listened in on my house for an hour could tell they are both boys based on how many times I say "no, don't swing/jump off/climb on/throw that!" and comfort whichever one most recently bumped his head. I'm as busy as can be between that and all the homework we are doing to pursue buying a house (tentatively the one we have been renting), and of course the usual things breaking down. (Currently the oven does not work, my washing machine shakes violently even after hours trying to level it and $250 to replace the damper pads, and I've been cutting and screwing in replacement hardware around our ridiculously drafty doors.)
<p>But I am still doing what I can for TEN3. I did finish that desktop publishing course I mentioned in my May post. I collect the prayer requests and praises for our weekly prayer/admin meeting. I also do the semi-annual reports of what is happening in each place we minister. It's so encouraging to hear Christie report how she is discipling her teachers with our CTO Bible study, and they are teaching it to all their students. You can listen to the teachers' testimonies about how the material has impacted them <a href=https://stareofowlstechnology.com:9245/nextcloud/index.php/s/PBBMnbQi5J6kmNW>here</a>. They are working on a project to record our material in audio form.
<p>Collins in Zambia reports that he has been given approval to start computer clubs in public and private schools, where he will disciple students with the CTO.
<p>Our partners in Tanzania are struggling. I have not heard anything from Bunda in a long time. Miriam in Arusha is suffering from health problems, and the two young men who were going to teach for her can no longer put in the time. She has another person who has agreed to teach, and who has a good computer background but he will have to start from the beginning with TEN3 orientation when it comes to our principles and tactics of education/discipleship.
<p>Anthony asked me what I would like to keep doing for TEN3 in the coming years as we face yet another retirement, this time our consulting coordinator. We agreed that my primary job will be to keep records of our homeschooling curriculum, methods, resources, etc., so that the ministry can use it as they see opportunity. I will also be available to Christie as she works on curriculum with the Association of Christian Schools, to consult upon request. I am loosely keeping up with what the team is doing on worldview education. I'm not putting a whole lot of focus on it until it's decided exactly what they want to do with it, but I do want to be available to contribute.
<p>TEN3 members have always had to sit very loose in the saddle, as things have never gone the way we planned. I'm sitting looser than ever now, but that is okay. The Lord blesses what we give, little or much, so long as we give Him our all. He does not use it the way we expected, but His ways are higher than we can imagine.
<p>Thank you, whoever may still be reading this, for keeping with us through this journey of joys, struggles, questions, and revisions. Your faithfulness, and the faithfulness I see in the Lord through all this, reminds me of the refrain, <br />
<blockquote>All the way my Savor leads me <br />
What have I to ask beside? <br />
Can I doubt His tender mercy <br />
Who through life has been my guide? <br />
Heavenly peace, divinest comfort, <br />
Here by faith in Him to dwell! <br />
For I know, whate're befall me <br />
Jesus doeth all things well. </blockquote>JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-53081770629746738512020-05-15T21:57:00.001-05:002020-05-15T21:57:50.849-05:00How to know where I'm going?<style type="text/css">
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*note: I wrote this probably a month ago, but (as is pretty typical lately, for reasons I'll elaborate) I got distracted and forgot to publish it. Update soon to follow.
<p>"where do I go from here?" I disliked Disney's Pocahontas 2, but that song has always stuck with me, and I've been singing it a lot lately. I applied for quite a few jobs for about two months, and didn't get a single interview. That frankly surprised me, as I figured "Ten years' experience" on a resume would be an ace in the hole. Now with the economic flux surrounding COVID-19, I'm not much expecting things will pick up for me. But, thankfully our tax refund this year is the biggest we've ever received and will keep us afloat for a few months. Discussing it with Kenneth, we decided that it is probably better that he pursue certifications.
<p>I've doubted more than ever these last couple of months that I could handle another job right now anyway. Potty training is not going well, and so it feels like most of my days consist of taking the two-year-old to the bathroom, sitting down to do something, getting up to clean up the accident he had anyway, then consoling the baby who cried the whole time I attended to the accident, wondering, "now what was I doing again?" then turning around to see there's already another accident. I haven't even finished the DTP course which I promised Christie long ago. I picked it up again in February meaning to have it done by April 1. I have a first draft done, but still a lot of clean-up to do on it. I also have responsibilities with Stare of Owls, and we are being presented with opportunities (partially thanks to the lockdowns) that may make us money but ... will I have time? I really struggle to focus on anything more than ten minutes. I'd told myself I would be able to handle it by enrolling Nathanael in a Parents' Day Out when business picked up, but now who knows when those programs will open up again.
<p>I also have to ponder a lot where the Lord is taking me spiritually in all this. I suppose what troubles me is that I've always (at least since I was a teenager) wanted to pour myself wholeheartedly into everything I did (hence the tagline of this blog), and lately I feel the need for reservation everywhere. Got to hold back on work to take care of the kids, got to put the kids aside to make progress in work. Want to fix up things around the house, but feel like I can't do that and get enough rest too. Even as we wait to go back church, whether mine or Kenneth's, the problems in the churches seem to stick out to me a lot more than any way I can help. It's a little amusing for me to hear people all around me talk about the Netflix shows they're watching to fill the time of social distancing, when I still feel overstretched. That in itself I wouldn't mind, but it's the lack of focus in the stretching that I have a hard time handling.
<p>So, Lord, show me how to focus on You in this time, to grow as You desire, to be faithful but not foolhardy.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-22748633024953338612020-03-19T23:28:00.000-05:002020-03-19T23:28:23.853-05:00An unexpected end<style type="text/css">
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<p>I have sent the news to my prayer and financial supporters, so I think it's safe to make it public now, giving a few more details for those who may be interested.
<p>Last spring as we were preparing for our trip to Zambia, I had to update some paperwork for SIM. As I did, I found there was one point that I could not affirm as I used to. Though I was hopeful that a promise not to make it an issue would be sufficient, and the personnel director took months to pray about the matter, it was finally concluded that I no longer meet the qualifications for an SIM missionary.
<p>When the possibility that this could happen was brought up in the TEN3 meeting, Anthony told the others that "Satan's trying to get JennyBeth off the team." But I told him later, I don't see how this could be the devil's work, because no one was doing anything wrong. If I had given into a sin, or if I was being dismissed out of jealousy or some other such motivation, that would make sense. But it wasn't wrong for me to pursue the questions I did and conclude the matter was not as certain as I once thought. Nor was it wrong for the personnel director to uphold the standard that was prayed and deliberated over long before I joined SIM.
<p>I wondered if I would be depressed leaving. I did cry. I can't leave something I've loved for ten years that easily. But the comfort that I did the right thing combined with another bit of encouragement, that maybe our leaders in Nigeria, Zambia, and Tanzania are ready to take the ministry forward without me. I'm not leaving behind the material-producing powerhouse we envisioned ten years ago, but maybe I am leaving enough seeds for the Africans to do what they must.
<p>What next? We are looking and wondering. I had already dropped down to part-time status with SIM, and my support level made it barely above minimum wage--but it's still income we can't afford to lose, so we have to find something else. If I find part-time work that I can do from home, then I suppose we will continue much as we have been, with probably more income and I'll mostly be out of TEN3. If I find full-time work that would support the whole family, Kenneth is amenable to becoming the stay-at-home parent. Though that will still have its difficulties while Luke is nursing, Kenneth is already entertaining ideas of growing a garden and getting food animals again to teach/entertain the boys. But we are also looking for better-paying jobs for him. If he could find one, then I could continue on with TEN3 as a volunteer. Or perhaps I'll find a contract position, working full time from home for a few months and giving him time to get a CISCO certification. We've even wondered if this will somehow open up an opportunity for him to go to seminary like he's always wanted.
<p>The search in the midst of trying to finish things with the mission, and going through the "what-ifs," is sometimes exciting but also getting tiring. My prayer is simply for enough money to do all that God wants us to do, and enough time to devote to our kids, house, and whatever else we should be doing.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-68628358318256340892020-01-20T23:44:00.002-06:002020-01-20T23:44:49.509-06:00It's not the crossroads, it's the steps you took to get there<style type="text/css">
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<p>When I was in Zambia in 2013, the leader of the youth ministry that hosted us asked each of us to share a word with his students. I wasn't exactly prepared--even years into missions, I wasn't used to being asked to preach/minister/advise on the spot, even though it's common on my trips. So I don't think I communicated it very well, as I got pretty blank expressions, but the point I tried to share was that the big decisions, the pivotal moments of your life to do great things for God, really matter a lot less than you think.
<p>The last time that I felt like I had a big decision I was torn about and needed to hear from God was where to go to college. The more I've matured in my walk with Him, the less the big things have felt like decisions at all. More and more at each each crossroad, there would be only one way that made sense to who I was. Every chance I had to date someone in those early years, either the chance would close desipe my efforts, or the man just didn't fit what I knew would be best for me as one who would bring me closer to God. When I graduated, with career and grad school options galore, the only thing I could picture myself doing (besides having a family, which as I just said wasn't working out) was missions. When I found TEN3, I had very little deliberation about joining because it so well fit everything I had developed a passion for and everything I was good at. Even though Kenneth in so many ways did not fit what I was sure I wanted in a husband, I still think back convinced I couldn't NOT have married him, because I saw that, to become the person God wants me to be, I need him.
<p>That's not to say I didn't agonize many times over whether I was right, and pray for God to show me if I wasn't. I certainly didn't always like the implications I knew would come out of the decisions I was making. But the way always was an inevitability coming from the desires I had inculcated.
<p>Which brings me back to the point I was trying to make to the Zambian kids years ago. The big crossroads don't matter so much because they are determined by the little decisions you make when it doesn't seem to matter. The things you fill your mind with, the people you spend your time with, the mercy you give or withhold, and especially the time you spend praying, will always determine the big choices you will make later. I remember John Randles once explained that our spiritual lives are like a bank account, and in the dialog when Peter said he would die with Jesus and Jesus replied that he was about to deny him three times, Jesus was telling him, "You haven't made the deposits for that kind of withdrawal."
<p>Another way to put it may be that how you perform in your time of testing will be determined by how dedicated you were to self-sacrifice when you were comfortable. I am humbled and reminded all the more how I must fill my mind and my time, for surely every regret I will ever have will come from lack of prayer.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-21959035695212130952019-12-22T10:03:00.001-06:002019-12-22T10:03:10.674-06:00Thanking God for a defect<style type="text/css">
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<p>I'm thanking God this week that I have one leg shorter than the other.
<p>It all started with a nocturnal hip ache after I had Nathanael. Sleeping with a pillow between my legs fixed it, but immediately after giving birth to Luke, it came back, worse. It wasn't bad pain; more annoying. I supposed birth had pushed my hips a bit out of alignment, and so it crossed my mind that was probably something a chiropractor could fix. It took several weeks for me to talk myself into going; I halfway thought the mild ache wasn't enough to justify the expense, but the fact that I personally know a chiropractor (one of my husband's former Bible students) and the thought that it may become less fixable with time pushed me to make an appointment. I came just complaining of the hip ache, but he of course also asked me about various other areas. He asked if I have tension in my back, and I said, "Sure, I get stress-related knots." He asked if I ever get pain in my mid-back, and I happened to think then that yes, it does hurt when I wear the baby in a sling. I remembered that it got to where it hurt when Nathanael was 10 months old or so, and was surprised it started hurting when Luke was just 6 weeks old, though I just assumed it must be that I wasn't doing the sling quite correctly.
<p>With the exam and X-rays, he found that the hip ache is due to my left leg being 11mm shorter than my right. It puts my hips out of alignment, and so has actually been wearing on them most of my life. Giving birth was just the first thing to aggravate it enough for me to notice. "Most people who have this and don't get it corrected eventually need a hip replacement," he told me.
<p>But then he showed me the X rays of my back, and I was stunned. The tension and ache that I had thought was totally normal was a sign of vertebral subluxation complex all through my spine--my lower and mid back have lateral curvature, and my neck has lost its normal curve. This was almost certainly caused by years of heavy laptop use, and especially the setup I'd improvised to nurse and work at the same time, sitting in a recliner and reaching over to my laptop at an angle. He showed me on the charts how this complex leads to premature arthritis, bulging disks, vertebrae fusing together, and all kinds of nasty stuff. My mid-back has already developed two small bone spurs, but the doctor assured me that the rest of the problem is still completely correctable. So the next few months will be marked by new ergonomic furniture and many trips to Lubbock. He also warned me that as we began treatment, I would feel worse before I feel better, and that had certainly been the case. It's still not too bad, but the added discomfort reinforces the shock realizing just how much trouble I was headed for.
<p>It's struck me that, if it were not for my legs being different lengths, leading to the hip pain, I would have ignored the back tension until it progressed to real pain, and by then I would have had permanent damage.
<p>If you compare my first couple of years writing this blog with this past year, you probably notice a change in attitude. The enthusiasm and big dreams have been almost jaded as I think back at how many failures we've had. I don't write much about the disappointments, because I'd rather share the things we rejoice and hope for, but, with news that the app we hoped would fund the ministry has been out-competed before we got our first customer and that schools are too worried about getting computers to stay in business to hear about new curriculum and certification, I really began to wonder, "Is this it? Are we never going to get the results we've prayed for? Did we make too many mistakes, so many that the enemy won this battle? Is it time to look for something else?" Then this issue at the chiropractor's told me that God knew the mistakes that I would make in how I would position my body, and gave me that leg discrepancy to give me a warning to correct it before it was too late. If He did that, then how can I not believe that He knew all the mistakes TEN3 and our partners would make, and made provision for those too?
<p>Anthony's latest conversation with me about the future of TEN3 curriculum was likewise encouraging. Since Kenneth and I plan to homeschool using the classical model, pulling in other elements we have come to see as important, Anthony asked, "Can I just adapt what you do and get schools started with it?" Well, I think that may be more difficult than he is bargaining for, but it probably can be done. We are still running our programs in Nigeria, Zambia, and Tanzania, but I couldn't see what more steps we could take to get educators discipled strongly enough to take it "to the third generation" as we've always envisioned.
<p>So maybe all the trial and error along the way was God geting us to this point, where I am advancing the most important sector of transformational education--children's level--by doing just a little more than I would be doing anyway in educating my own children. Keep praying for us.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-10445346420715233752019-10-11T17:16:00.000-05:002019-10-11T17:16:36.910-05:00Baby! Is a baby!<style type="text/css">
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<p>That's what Nathanael was exclaiming when he saw his little brother for the first time:
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<p>His name is Luke Athanasius. I love the name "Luke" because it means "giver of light," and I want my child to behold and reflect brightly the Light of the World. I also like the character Luke in the Bible--I like his skill and thoroughness in writing the gospel and Acts, and how dedicated he was in helping Paul--he traveled with him as a prisoner, enduring a shipwreck and so much more for the love of our King. It's very clear from his writing and his actions that he had a passion for God's glory among the nations. Those are qualities I pray for my son. Kenneth chose Athanasius for the saint whose life you can read <a href="https://www.ancientfaith.com/podcasts/saintoftheday/our_holy_fathers_athanasius_the_great_373_and_cyril_44_patriarchs_of_alexan">here</a>.
<p>I have a lot to thank God for. I'm thankful that the birth went well. I'm actually thankful the doctor accidentally broke my water at my 38-week prenatal appointment, because the little guy was already 7 lb, 12 oz. I'm thankful that I didn't need Pitocin this time, so I could actually relax between contractions. I'm thankful to be on Samaritan Ministries now, which allowed me to have a hospital birth much more affordably than insurance did. I'm thankful for my parents and sister who kept Nathanael for us, for the couple from my church who came by to take care of our dogs while I was in labor, and for those who have helped us with diapers and other little items we can still use this time around. I'm thankful that, despite us all getting colds right after we left the hospital, little Luke hasn't suffered more than a stuffy nose. I'm thankful for how Nathanael has taken to Luke, and in general that he has such a wonderful family to be born into.
<p>I am thankful for the time Kenneth was able to take off work, though now that it's almost time for him to go back, it sure doesn't seem long enough! Please pray for us as I begin adjusting to a "normal schedule" now with a baby added to toddler care, two jobs, and house management. I'm not sure if I'll need extra self-discipline or extra laxity to manage all these demands. Pray for the right grace I'll need to do what God has for me each day.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4v3AcuzjzwuSbj0AdLj9LZai9UaKQ9kZ69HwgfceJ_duzOmFirDrocd9wYD4FkuRDDHyhY69RhI0NE2CSUB5qgN_0kpWaVz7AwBBRr0vs5RRT07bdOlkYOUVQiTyK0I0el-acdVWQOH51/s1600/100_2030.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4v3AcuzjzwuSbj0AdLj9LZai9UaKQ9kZ69HwgfceJ_duzOmFirDrocd9wYD4FkuRDDHyhY69RhI0NE2CSUB5qgN_0kpWaVz7AwBBRr0vs5RRT07bdOlkYOUVQiTyK0I0el-acdVWQOH51/s400/100_2030.JPG" width="400" height="300" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1200" /></a></div>JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-49226081058515381302019-09-04T14:29:00.001-05:002019-09-04T14:29:50.865-05:00Ten years for what?<style type="text/css">
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<p>Ten years. This month marks ten years that I have worked with TEN3. It's difficult to believe I've now dedicated about a third of my life so far to it.
<p>I was more than prepared to. All I wanted to do with my early adulthood was missions, and/or raise a family. Any other option, whether grad school or a career, just seemed a waste – why spend time pouring into myself when I had a great education, great health, no debt, nothing to hold me back from investing full time in the Kingdom? And I loved TEN3's vision from the moment I discovered it. There was nothing better I could imagine doing with my skills than helping Africans grow in knowledge that meets their needs and leads them to build their whole lives on Christ.
<p>I still love that vision and all its potential. It's a bittersweet feeling looking back, though, at all the work we've done over the last ten years. Many of the opportunities we were most excited about fizzled to nothing. We were praying ten years ago for 350 schools running the CTO, and I think today we only have two currently running the full program. A couple more do portions of it. My main job those first few years was working toward a full university degree using the principles that God had revealed work so well for disciple making and excellent education in Africa to build on the CTO, and that has completely fizzled out.
<p>So compared to what we wanted to do, our ministry has floundered horribly. Yet, when you look at how mission projects to go, the degree of results some mission teams may get from ten years of work, we do have quite a lot to show. Thousands of families have been impacted by our Families and Media ministry, with tears of repentance and opened eyes to the spiritual warfare going on in their midst. Hundreds of students have taken our Bible curriculum and gained a fuller understanding of God's work in the world throughout history and what it means to their lives. Students have been blessed with various adaptations of our CTO material to different situations, and those who have taken the program said they've never had anything so helpful. Pastors have given positive feedback that our seminars have helped them learn to use technology wisely in their ministry and engage more effectively with their youth as they guide them to use discernment. And our national directors still see much more potential for what TEN3 can do in their communities.
<p>The difference between those results and what we are about, though, is in our tagline, "Discipling to the third generation," that is, having people understand the discipleship material and process well enough to teach others and expand the ministry and make it their own. It is in making the ministry outlive us. That is really going to come down to training. Please join me in praying especially for Ray as he begins walking four young people, Aloyce, Joeley, Christpin, and Samuel through our online training. Pray that they, and those Collins is working on training, will really understand the material, catch the vision, and be the second generation that will disciple the third. Maybe we won't get the 350 CTO schools we envisioned. Maybe we won't get the tertiary degree with the curriculum we planned. But if we get people who know God's story of redemption and what their place is in it, who practice spiritual discipline out of love for the Lord and not a checklist, who can comprehend what they read and discern good information from the less-helpful, and who have a passion to bring that to others, then I will be at peace that we have done what the Lord asked of us.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-74101204816195669972019-07-08T17:40:00.001-05:002019-07-08T17:40:58.391-05:00What did we talk about in Zambia?<style type="text/css">
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<p>So what actually happened in TEN3 during our conference in Zambia? First, of course, we prayed and worshiped together each day. There also was just the joy of being together, and the affirmation of our love for one another and our work together. Our four countries each reported the state of our ministry. The US side of TEN3 is going to have to be mostly on auto-pilot for the coming year, with Ken retiring, Jim and Karen slowing down to focus on health problems, and me having a baby.
<p>Nigeria is advancing on many fronts, with the Families and Media ministry still reaching thousands of women and, as we had hoped, creating interest in the CTO. They are also continuing workshops for secondary school students on break, technology training for underprivileged groups, and now an outreach in the prisons. Our Nigeria director has also been invited to a curriculum conference for an association of Christian schools throughout Nigeria, which yields rather exciting possibilities for shaping the education across the country.
<p>Tanzania is in something of a reset mode. There was a center running in Bunda last year, but Tukiko admitted that he had other priorities in his church that kept him from supervising it as closely as it needed. Then the location was no longer available and the teacher wanted to move on. However, his church was impressed enough with the program that they decided to construct a new center, with more resources and attention devoted to it. They are finishing that up. Ray went on to visit Bunda after our conference and got to meet the new young man who will be the teacher, and so we have him set up on our training site. Ken likewise got to visit Miriam, who is working toward opening a new CTO center in another city in Tanzania, encouraging her and her staff and leaving then with eight computers to get started.
<p>Collins is still just getting started with the ministry. Thanks to partnership with another gracious ministry, we were able to ship him eighty-four laptops earlier this year, and he is starting in five locations with those, some doing the CTO for adults and some doing "Learning with Computers for Primary Students." I got to meet Charis and Zangi, the two girls helping edit the reading books.
<p>We also discussed the next needed steps and perceived obstacles. The biggest obstacle is our standards/certification process. Christie told us that they cannot get people or institutions to pursue the certifications we offer because the requirements are seen as rigorous for little immediate benefit. On our side, I pointed out that we have not done a good job of recognizing and keeping track of those steps that are taken toward certification (mainly because we don't really have anyone assigned to do it). Her idea is to use equipment as an incentive for certification. Our three national directors together also discussed that they would like to begin evolving the programs somewhat on their own, starting with an upgrade of our "Pastors and Technology" seminar that could be used in seminaries. What Anthony picked up from those things is that the standards and certification process needs to grow organically as our national directors respond to the needs and desires in their contexts.
<p>In a way, we are seeing exactly what this ministry was geared to do--the US side diminish while the Africans advance. We will still be their secretaries, writing down what they find and accomplish to share and formalize. And we will still look to raise equipment for them to use. Please pray for us as we continue to navigate these changes and seek to follow the Lord's direction. May the gospel go forward greatly as our ministry takes advantage of each of these opportunities to make disciples.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-92091139802114672152019-06-23T16:55:00.000-05:002019-06-23T16:55:29.533-05:00My little world traveler<style type="text/css">
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<p>Well, we are back, and already in a whilrwind as my husband had to go back to work soon after we returned (actually he was supposed to return the very night we returned, but our flights were rescheduled and then his boss took pity and let him take one extra day), and I was asked to teach VBS this week! I'll do posts about the outcome of the trip, of course, but first, I just want to brag about this little guy:
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<p>I was quite nervous about taking a toddler on such a long trip, especially that involved several plane changes. I had heard stories of little kids screaming unstoppably after more flights than they cared to take, and mine is certainly as energetic and emotional as any. I would have been even more hesitant if I had realized that our trip to Livingstone would add an extra 18 hours of van/bus travel in the middle of it! But Nathanael handled it all like he was born to travel. Each airport was interesting to him, each takeoff and landing fun to watch. He got to where every time he saw a picture of an airplane, or saw a plane out the window, he would point and exclaim "A-dah!" ("airplane"). He even seemed to enjoy the bus. He loved Victoria Falls, and was constantly pointing and exclaiming "Wa-dee!" ("water"). We were also treated to a boat ride on the river, which he also loved. I'm not sure if he noticed the hippos or crocodile, but he did at least notice the Egyptian geese taking off from the water.
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<p>He also made friends at the airports:
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I really wish I could have gotten a picture of the little girl about 8 months younger than him when they gave each other a hug! But I didn't have the camera out at the time.
<p>Everyone was amazed at how well he took the whole trip. The 12 days we were traveling, he only had one total meltdown, and that was a situation that was straining the adults to the limit! He didn't sleep as much as he needed on the flight from Amsterdam to Toronto. We then had a four-hour layover in Toronto, but that was a busy one because our next flight was on a separate ticket, which meant we had to go through customs (which was a very slow line), claim our bags, change terminals, get our new boarding passes, re-check our bags, go through security, and get to our gate. We then got on the plane, sat for two hours, and then de-planed because a communication device was failing a test and they couldn't get a new one. THEN the line to get rebooked moved as slow as molasses in winter. I stood in line for two and a half hours while Kenneth struggled to stay awake and watch Nathanael. Everyone was getting quite frustrated, but Kenneth heard some people remark that if that little boy could keep a good attitude, they could too. We finally got our new tickets for the next day and some hotel and food vouchers. Then we had to re-claim our bags and catch the hotel shuttle. Nathanael started to fall asleep on the baggage cart, and when I picked him up, that's when he finally lost it. At that point, who could blame him?
<p>Then on the plane the next day, he was once again happy as could be:
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Before he konked out, that is:
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<p>But of course no matter how much someone loves traveling, there's always something special about coming home:
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<p>International travel is always interesting; there's always sure to be something seem to go wrong and get you all nervous for a while! As our plans solidified for a face-to-face prayer meeting in Zambia this June with all our missionaries and national directors,and Rob our chaplain, to seek the Lord's direction for our ministry, this was already looking to be a different experience for me. First was the question, what to do about Nathanael? Leave him with his daddy? Take him with me? Take them both with me? Which would be worse, to take a toddler on probably 40 hours of flights, or leave him 12 days without his mama? If we took him, should we lap him or get him his own seat? We prayed about it, thought it over, and looked at what money was already available. Anthony told us there was enough ministry funds already to purchase the international tickets for the three of us, and with that, we decided that the three of us will go, so that the family could enjoy Kenneth's vacation time together, Kenneth can participate in the prayers and blessing of what God will do, and Nathanael wouldn't have to be without me. There was even enough to get Nathanael his own seat, which I was quite grateful for--while he'll still be under two years old, he is already as big, hungry, and squirmy as most two-year-olds.
<p>Next, the itinerary was looking to be a pain. I've always had to book two separate tickets for my trips, because the travel agent cannot book me out of Lubbock. So I have to order a domestic flight to Dallas or Houston, usually picking up my bags and re-checking them to get to my international flight. But this itinerary was looking even more complicated because the route from Dallas to Lusaka involved an overnight in Dubai. Kenneth had heard some scary stories about tourists getting arrested in Dubai for the tiniest things, and even Pam, the travel agent, seemed pretty hesitant about the idea. She was working on itineraries for the whole team, giving us tentative ones with 48 hours to decide to book. Anthony wondered if we could get a domestic flight to JFK airport and join him and Nancy on their flight. (They live in western New York, about an hour from Buffalo.) We checked, but that would require an overnight in NYC, which would be extremely expensive, no doubt. Then he got an idea, "What about Toronto?" His daughter and her family live near Toronto, and that would be a fairly easy drive for them. "We could all crash at her place and fly out together from there," he suggested. Pam checked, and that was actually a couple hundred cheaper per ticket than what she had originally booked us.
<p>So, we are flying to Canada first, staying the night, then to Amsterdam, then to Nairobi, then Lusaka. That means a twelve day trip: three days of travel, six days in Zambia, and then another three days of travel. It'll probably be rather grueling, but at least we'd get a rest in Toronto, I figured.
<p>As soon as that was decided on, I looked up what we would need for the little guy's passport. Certified copy of his birth certificate. Ok, so I ordered that, and waited and waited. Turns out, Texas is incredibly slow with records requests. I ordered it on Feb. 13, and it finally came in on April 9th. So I hurriedly filled out and printed the online application, and we got the photo printed and the passport applied for this morning. They say it doesn't take longer than 6 weeks, so here's hoping, because after that we will still need to apply for the visas!
<p>I was putting off buying the flights to Toronto until I had some more money raised, and then was rather dismayed when the Boeing 737 story broke. Sure enough ticket prices went up, though then when I saw I had been given several gifts, the prices were't nearly as bad as I feared. But, then there was another problem--it seemed all the flights either left at 6am, or arrived at 11pm. Leaving at 6am would mean we would have to leave the house by 4:30am, which would mean Kenneth would have to take an additional day off work, and his boss had already really stretched things to accommodate our trip. But arriving in Toronto at 11pm, with customs to clear, baggage to claim, a car to obtain, and a drive to make (in an unfamiliar area in the dark), would mean we probably would get to Elizabeth's after 1am, which would be quite an imposition on her family, not to mention exhausting for us! Kenneth said he'd double-check the dates to make sure he had right what he had requested. He did, and then I checked Expedia again and found there was a reasonably priced flight option, with just 3 seats left, that left at 7am and arrived at 4:30pm. Well, that would still cut in some to Kenneth's shift, but it would probably be workable, and certainly would be a better prospect for a restful evening!
<p>So, things are coming together, it's just some extra work this time around. At least I probably won't be trying to bring a dozen laptops this time around! I probably will bring three for Christie, assuming that's still allowed on flights these days. (The rules seem to change every few years.) I admit I had my doubts a few times along the way that the trip would work out this time, but now it seems that the big things are out of the way. We still have to get immunizations and visas, transfer some money to cover our part of the food, transportation, and lodging while we're there, figure out what to do about our dogs, garden, and vehicle, and all sorts of little things like that. By the way, I still need to raise about a thousand dollars for those things. If you would like to help toward the trip, you can do so by <a href="https://www.simusa.org/contact-information/?id=033282-001">clicking here</a>. And especially be in prayer for us as we gather to seek the Lord, that we be attentive to each other and to His Spirit, and know the next steps we should take so that our many years of work may best serve communities, giving sound, practical education that grounds the students' minds on Christ.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-15128045110113116522019-03-30T19:02:00.000-05:002019-04-12T18:14:42.316-05:00CEO? Not this tired Mama.<style type="text/css">
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<p>Anthony told me all the way back in 2011 or so that he envisioned me someday becoming CEO of TEN3 and Christie being president. And he told me a few months ago, as we began planning the prayer meeting I mentioned in my last post, that change is one thing he is pretty sure needs to happen this year. I guess I was okay with it at the time; I didn't object anyway.
<p>But as he started giving me memos for preparing to take leadership, I began feeling overwhelmed. Even though there really isn't that much to do for an organization with such a small core, I just didn't want to. "Are you sure about this?" I asked at one point. "Yes, unless God just really throws something unexpected at us." Well, soon after I gave him some news he didn't expect: I am having my second baby in October. I pointed out that I really won't have the time or mental availability for months after the baby comes for new responsibilities. He accepted that, but was soon suggesting that I could still be CEO if I could even give five "extremely focused" hours per week. "But I don't have focused time--I have a loosely managed schedule consisting mostly of wishful thinking!" I protested. Lately, I can barely sit for five minutes at a time to get anything done before my toddler is tugging insistently on me, sure to begin screaming if I don't give him my full attention. I used to get really focused time in when he slept, and reasonably focused time while his daddy played with him, but pregnancy has had me so tired I usually have to use those times to nap.
<p>So instead of my usual ambitious nature, I've been longing to quit <i>something</i>--I feel like a hamster on a motorized wheel and no place to get off. No matter how much I try to work (whether at my jobs or domestic duties), I get little done, and no matter how much I try to rest, I never feel rested. But I really don't have anything that makes sense for me to quit. Family and church are absolute commitments. TEN3? Surely God didn't lead me to ten years of work with this team to give up now. Stare of Owls? That's my investment in hope of things getting better, for TEN3 and my family. Martial arts? Wouldn't I be even more tired and frazzled if I didn't have exercise and social time?
<p>So I'm really hoping that all this discouragement is just the pregnancy fatigue and hormones talking. The first trimester is almost over, so maybe in a few weeks I'll have more energy and less emotional reactions. And then? I hope we see the Lord work in Zambia, showing us a clear path forward by which Christie, Collins, and Tukiko can advance the ministry in every way that is on their hearts. I hope Stare of Owls' app gets finished and quickly gains popularity, turning a profit that can bless us as workers and enable us to bless TEN3. I hope that by early 2020 I can get into a good rhythm, giving sufficient love and attention to both my children as well as regular focused time to my jobs. Please say a prayer for me, for all these hopes, because I feel very much "poured out like water" and want so much to see fruit come forth.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-92095791684712325782019-01-17T00:14:00.002-06:002019-01-17T00:14:45.855-06:00"In Quietness and Trust"<style type="text/css">
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<p>It's been rather quiet in TEN3 lately. The ministry is still moving--Christie and her team have many endeavors they are working on, both with their own school and with various other schools in Nigeria, Tukiko told us they are preparing to open a second school in Bunda, TZ, and the Lord blessed us with the ability to ship about 80 laptops to Zambia for free. I am still working with editors on some literacy materials, and have quite a few projects still lined up to finish.
<p>But we aren't starting anything new. Deliberately. No new projects in Curriculum. Consulting has put inquirers from three or four countries on hold. With Ken, our technology administrator and school consultant, preparing to retire, we will soon be down to four people: Jim, who prays and tells people about TEN3; Ray, who introduces new inquirers and mentors some of our African directors; and Anthony and me, who do everything else. Frankly, Anthony and I agree we can't do it anymore. Not like this.
<p>We've been praying a long time for more people to come help us, and Maria, a long-time volunteer, has been approaching missions to try to get us some more help, but so far, we haven't had any takers. So we are seeking a face-to-face meeting with Christie, Tukiko, Collins, simply to pray about the direction TEN3 should take. Though Anthony and I already have our ideas of what needs to happen and what we would like to happen, we want to come in with open hearts, listening to our siblings as we ask, "Do you still share the vision? What do you want to accomplish? How can we help you do it with what we have to offer?"
<p>We've always intended to hand over the leadership of the ministry to them. But this is not the situation in which we envisioned doing it. We planned to have a thriving training system, with certified teachers, administrators, and writers, with several clearly standing out as gifted and having been mentored with us for years. But our country directors don't have anybody who has completed certification. That's where I really question if the ministry can continue and thrive. And it's honestly scary to wonder if the vision we have so earnestly prayed over, rejoiced over, lost sleep over, and worked toward so hard for nine years (even longer for the rest of the team) believing God gave it to us, won't happen after all. That fear is exposing the worst in me, how much pride I still harbor, how little I trust God, even after so much.
<p>And so, both this ministry and my life are in a state of quiet, waiting to see what direction all will take. What God has in store for TEN3, based on so many factors that we have tried to address and many we never saw coming. And what I will do in my own heart, if I will humble myself and trust Him come what may.
<p>Pray for us.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-34141734257676044772018-11-09T17:13:00.002-06:002018-11-09T17:15:04.004-06:00Launching something new<style type=text/css>
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<p>As I <a href="http://jba-ten3.blogspot.com/2018/06/a-separate-endeavor-we-pray-will-supply.html">posted a few weeks ago</a>, I have a second job with a start-up technology company, which we are hoping will help us personally keep afloat to continue the ministry, and also to help with certain things that TEN3 needs. Our first contract is doing the tech support for a school in western New York. Our second venture has been developing an app. It's just taking the idea of a student info system that has been available for a long time and making it accessible to a huge market that heretofore hasn't even considered it an option, adding a few features that they find valuable. We so far have 50 institutions interested in it, each of which we estimate, if they sign on, would bring us about 300 customers each. And if all goes well, that will be just the beginning.
<p>Programming, testing, tweaking, and writing help for the app has taken a huge chunk of time. We are a few weeks behind when we hoped to release the first version, but today we announced the first release. There will certainly be tweaks to be made and bugs to iron out, and we have a long list of things we want to improve for the next version.
<p>I'm kind of nervous. Will this side business, with the money and attraction it brings, and the example it makes of GUTS, be the last piece that we need to see our ministry reach as many people with the long-term impact we've always prayed for? Will it be yet another scrap in our pile of failed opportunities? Will it change the direction of our ministry, for good or ill?
<p>Stay tuned.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-76543093235742628132018-09-19T23:25:00.002-05:002018-09-19T23:25:15.156-05:00A Texas house, a Nigerian house, and God's glorious house<style type="text/css">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr9K_JhuAV8TmsjVF2PT_vOM_0DMmLOe37o2Qw4d9BeNgPoq0fixcmq2qZC5YsOJc_V7-ATdcMoLnvzC6C9OJEw422mo0HxUZa6C6vSmNl8e7X-Uevq29wjH0VGcErPm_iKCJGpWVIraTI/s1600/100_1246.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr9K_JhuAV8TmsjVF2PT_vOM_0DMmLOe37o2Qw4d9BeNgPoq0fixcmq2qZC5YsOJc_V7-ATdcMoLnvzC6C9OJEw422mo0HxUZa6C6vSmNl8e7X-Uevq29wjH0VGcErPm_iKCJGpWVIraTI/s400/100_1246.JPG" width="400" height="300" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1200" /></a></div>
<p>There are a lot of things I like about my house. The living room, with its ambient lighting and built-in bookshelves. The built-in storage cabinets in the bathroom and two of the bedrooms. The view off the back porch. But there are a lot of things I find myself wishing it had. A basement, both for tornado safety and to store the stuff for my husband's projects and experiments out of sight. Plumbing that doesn't leak and windows that aren't drafty. And that it were rodent-proof!
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<p>This is my dear colleague's house, provided by their church where her husband pastors, when I visited in 2016. It's a duplex, so she, her husband, and her two younger boys (her oldest is at college) live in half of this. She told me about the time they had to go buy all their water because a dead animal contaminated their well.
<p>Now they've been asked to move to another church, in a part of the city that is notorious for drug-addicted youth. She hasn't seen her new house yet, but in a poorer community, she's preparing for it to be smaller and with fewer amenities than what she has now. She wrote, "Some people have been sympathizing with us, thinking it is not fair to move us to such a place, but where else can God display His power? We want to make Jesus known through people and places people despise. Please, pray for us, we have promised God that even if we will live in a manger as long as it is His work and He is the one leading us, we will do it. Humanly speaking, our flesh long for good things of life, e.g., good house, car, clothes, etc., but it is not about us, but Christ. 'Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fail and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.' Habakkuk 3:17-18"
<p>She convicts me so much that I worry about my temporary home, when we are working each day on our eternal home in the Kingdom of God, where fire will test the quality of each one's work (1 Cor. 3:12-15). Lord, make me as faithful as this daughter of Yours.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-19992160628727674252018-06-20T18:32:00.001-05:002018-06-20T18:33:24.511-05:00Not for my sake<style type="text/css">
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<p>When I first joined TEN3 nine years ago, we were a bustling team of six missionaries, one missionary-in-training, about a dozen heavily involved volunteers and many more lightly involved volunteers. We were preparing to continue growing our central team as we branched into Africa nad the Carribean, looking to have 350 affiliate schools and to be the largest publishing house for Africa. By the end of this year, we will be down to three part-time missionaries and our church networker, and a handful of volunteers who help with specific duties. Anthony asked us how we feel about that. Ken, who will retire this year and has been with TEN3 since near the beginning, reflected wistfully that he didn't know. Our team started strong, and stayed strong for a long time, but somehow in recent years, we've steadily lost people faster than we can add them.
<p>My thought was, maybe this is, after all, exactly what was supposed to happen. TEN3 was always supposed to be an African organization, with a handful of missionaries supplying key areas of labor, resources, and perspective until the African members are ready to take full ownership. Well, Nigeria, Zambia, and Tanzania are forming and training their teams to do this ministry, and it's really now or never. If they persevere in their training and get others involved in learning and implementing the TEN3 model, then Anthony and I will continue consulting in a supporting role for them. I may yet end up asked to live in Africa for a while to work with teachers on our 5-area degree that we've planned for years, or on a primary school curriculum based on transformational principles. We will rejoice to see them take off with their knowledge and disciplines, and grow this ministry in ways we could not even have envisioned.
<p>And if not?
<p>Anthony admitted that he would have a hard time if he reaches the end of his life having seen no results of his decades of hard work. But he acknowledged that has been the lot of countless missionaries--fruit may well have come of their work, but often it's happened decades after their death.
<p>Me? Well, I'm still only 31 and have plenty of other things I want to do with my life. So I'd have little cause to grieve for myself, though I certainly would regret to see all the potential that I still believe is in God's people in Africa wasted.
<p>But Christie ... oh, Christie. She wasn't in that part of this meeting, which I'm thankful for. It's for her sake that I can't bear the idea of failure. In the last twenty years she has invested thousands of hours in passionate prayer, in meetings, in logistics and speaking and record-keeping, hours away from her family, several times ill, rarely rested. She's pressed on running a computer school on an electric grid that is sometimes off for ten days at a time, through skyrocketing fuel prices, through regulatory hoops that multiply like hydra heads. She persevered when terrorist attacks were making everyone afraid to leave their homes in her city, and traveled through even more dangerous parts of the country. She's put untold amounts of her own family's low income toward her ministry expenses. She's kept on through betrayal of people she's discipled, who not only left the ministry but falsely accused her and stole from her, and through times when we her partners have been insensitive to her struggles.
<p>She does all this because she believes that this is what God has for Africa, that through Christ-centered education, her people can overcome the rampant systemic problems in their country, build systems with integrity that make a better world for her children, and send the Gospel forth powerfully to those still in darkness.
<p>Lord, I think I can bear seeing no fruit from nine years' service. But please let Christie see it and know she has not labored and sacrificed in vain. Do it not for me, but for her. Do it not for her, but for the people You are calling to Yourself in Africa. Do it not for Your people, but for the sake of Your name.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-70679967827757610892018-06-08T20:44:00.003-05:002018-06-08T20:44:53.431-05:00A separate endeavor we pray will supply needs in TEN3<style type="text/css">
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<p>Back when I worked for the education professor at a community college, she would show her students <i>The Freedom Writers' Diary</i>. The scene in which Erin Gruwell's husband bemoans her choice to "get another job to pay for your job" has always stuck with me because that's just the sort of thing I'm prone to do. I <a href="http://jba-ten3.blogspot.com/2012/12/ping-pong-balls-and-my-job-queue.html">blogged about doing that back in 2012</a>. I was very thankful to be able to simplify when I <a href="http://jba-ten3.blogspot.com/2013/08/im-so-thankful-i-just-might-melt.html">became fully supported</a> in late 2013. But times changed again this past year, such that about the time my son was born, I was reduced to about half of what I was making before (which was already substantially less than someone with my position and experience would expect). I sent out several appeals for more support, and some extra came in, but not near what I needed. I began looking seriously into getting a technical writing job on the side to help make ends meet at home.
<p>Instead, I find myself helping with a start-up LLC. This is ironic, because I've never considered myself much of a risk-taker. In any game involving risk choices, I consistently go for the middle of the road. I do, however, take risks when I consider it part of a picture bigger than the possible failure. So how did this come about?
<p>Anthony's brother Mike is involved in a start-up company that has something to do with using smart phones to do MRIs. He asked Anthony if he could do the DevOps, because he wanted someone he could trust. Well, Anthony admitted he doesn't have the skill set for that, but, given how good the pay is for work like that, he wondered if he could get together a team with the requisite skill set. He especially wanted me and Kenneth on the team because he knew we needed a boost. And surprisingly, just the right team came together of people technically skilled in different areas, who all love the Lord and trust Anthony. We had some meetings, prayed together, got advice, and decided, "Sure, let's start a technology consulting company." (The name is still under extensive, sometimes silly, discussion!)
<p>Well, in a strange twist, we got out-bid of the job at Mike's company (not his choice). But we had already put together some ideas of products and services that we can see being in high demand, and sensed, well, the Lord had led us together wanting to do this for a reason, so we might as well keep at it and see what happens.
<p>There are a few other lines of reasoning as well. For one thing, Ken, TEN3's technology officer, is retiring this year. If we don't find a replacement, we will need this company to keep TEN3's online office running. For another, as I mentioned above, several of us are struggling personally with finances, and TEN3 as an organization seldom has money to speak of. Our many years of efforts at fundraising almost always fall short of what would be considered a proper operating budget. So maybe, if we can't raise enough money, it's time to try making it. For another, one of the programs we've been recently requested to do is godly entrepreneurial education, which we could speak to much better if we had successfully done it ourselves. And finally, we would love to be a witness for Christ by developing creative solutions, offering them with integrity, and using the profits to advance His Kingdom. Our desire comes down to a quote from John Wesley: "Earn all you can, save all you can, give all you can."
<p>Are we crazy to be putting our extra time and mental effort into a for-profit company? Shouldn't we do something "safe" if we're going to do a side endeavor? Maybe. But this does seem to be what the Lord led us to, and our best chance to meet TEN3's needs and stay afloat. Please pray for the company's success and for the Lord to provide all that TEN3 needs.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-17055358977337550862018-05-18T23:29:00.002-05:002018-05-18T23:30:56.756-05:00If posting our works negates our reward, where am I?<style type="text/css">
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<blockquote>
Imagine setting aside a few weeks of your summer vacation to travel on dirt roads and bump around in loud jeeps, winding deep into the remote jungle villages in Central America. You risk fevers, diseases, and heatstroke, all in order to help build an orphanage for twenty destitute kids. At the end of the month, you step back, take a selfie with your handiwork in the background, and post it with pride on Facebook. Poof!--the reward is gone. Think about it. In one humble-brag selfie, the trade is made--eternal reward from God is sold for the porridge of maybe eighty likes and twelve comments of praise.</blockquote>
<p>I came across the book <i><a href="https://smile.amazon.com/Ways-Your-Phone-Changing-You/dp/1433552434/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1526703264&sr=8-1&keywords=twelve+ways+your+phone+is+changing+you&dpID=41jFcTyVFtL&preST=_SY344_BO1,204,203,200_QL70_&dpSrc=srch">Twelve Ways Your Phone is Changing You</a></i> and decided to buy it to see if it taught something about GUTS (Godly Use of Technology Skills, one of TEN3's biggest teaching points) that I don't already know. I came across this passage in chapter 3, and as a missionary, I find it so ironic I must wonder if Reinke actually knows any missionaries. We do lots of sharing about our work when we'd rather skip it. Most missionaries don't really enjoy writing newsletters and the like. I enjoy it more than most, but there are still plenty of days when I'd much rather zone in on "the mission" than think about how to compose an appealing <a href="https://jba-ten3.blogspot.com/p/newsletter-archives.html">account of what I'm doing</a>. Yet sharing the pictures and stories about our activities is considered essential to missions. Can't do missions without funding, can't have funding without donors, and can't recruit and keep donors without impressing them that God does awesome things through their donations to us. So do we have to destroy the spirit of pleasing God in order to accomplish the mission?
<p>I sure hope not. I was given a pretty good answer to this dilemma in <a href="https://story-one.org/blog/">Heather Ricks</a>' <i><a href="http://wordpress.redirectingat.com/?id=725X1342&site=storyoneorg.wordpress.com&xs=1&isjs=1&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FGod-Elephants-Worshippers-Raising-Support%2Fdp%2F0692272828%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1492463354%26sr%3D8-1%26keywords%3Dgod%2Band%2Belephants&xguid=&xuuid=d39086633b99843b8d5e4b0da34a30c2&xsessid=&xcreo=0&xed=0&sref=https%3A%2F%2Fstory-one.org%2F&pref=https%3A%2F%2Fstory-one.org%2Fblog%2F&xtz=300&abp=1&jv=13.4.1&bv=2.5.1">God and the Elephants</a></i>, which urges missionaries to make God the central character of each of our letters and blog posts, so that the surest response our readers have is to worship God for how He has revealed Himself in our contexts. I struggle to truly implement that, however. The longer I serve God, the more I find the language of "God told me to ..." or "God is leading us to ..." or "God has promised me ..." to be presumptuous. Not that I judge people for saying them, but I have found so many times that the outcomes I thought God was bringing about aren't how it turns out, that I consider myself unable to do more than loosely speculate how God is working.
<p>The most apt metaphor I've heard for how the Lord leads me is how I once heard Psalm 119:105 exegeted.
<blockquote>Your word is a lamp unto my feet,<br />
And a light to my path.</blockquote>
<p>Ancient oil lamps did not give a powerful beam like modern flashlights; they gave just enough light to see the step ahead. And the "light to my path" would have referred to the torches kept burning on city walls that could be seen from far off. So the idea, I was told, is that God gives us enough light to see the next step we are supposed to take, and to know where our destination is, but everything in between is dark. We may think we know how the path will go, but there will certainly be turns and obstacles we did not expect, enough that it may not seem that there's any way this road can really lead the right way.
<p>Our destination is plain enough: God wants to draw all me to Himself, and to make us like Him. And He gives us enough understanding to know what the next step is and obey. But I usually don't know, probably can't know, how He's going to use that step. We have a very well-thought-out strategy, but we still run into so many obstacles and dead-ends that my colleague once said he dreaded communicating with his supporters because it seemed like every time he shared about an opportunity we were excited about, people would ask about it months later and it hadn't panned out. I'm always skeptical of our plans at this point. But I keep writing the requested materials, keep the editing process going, keep researching the next software platform or project resources we think we will need, because, well, that is the step ahead of me. It probably won't have the particular results we had in mind when we decided to do it, but God knows how it will get us where He wants us.
<p>And where does that leave me when it's time to write these blog posts and put another picture on my newsletter? Am I flaunting my works to be seen by men? Or am I conforming to the pattern before us all, acting with the things that are seen, but with such frailty and faith that the Unseen One may be evident as the <a href="https://www.studylight.org/desk/?q=ro%2011:36&t1=en_nas&sr=1">source, facilitator, and goal of it all</a>?
<p>I have so much more to learn.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-30666941142091575612018-04-27T22:49:00.002-05:002018-04-27T22:49:52.360-05:00What are we up to lately?<style type="text/css">
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I suppose it's high time for a plain ministry update. TEN3 is mainly focusing on getting people trained in our three active countries--Nigeria, Zambia, and Tanzania--through our Global Engagement. Our training is a ton of work as I've blogged about <a href="https://jba-ten3.blogspot.com/2017/07/training.html">previously</a>), covering topics from "What subject is the queen of knowledge?" to "The Mozart Effect and the Sorting Flaw," to "A break-even point for a computer lab." It also includes critiquing our <a href="http://jba-ten3.blogspot.com/p/faq.html#q6">CTO</a> and becoming familiar with our <a href="https://jba-ten3.blogspot.com/2013/04/technology-good-bad-and-ugly.html">Families and Media</a> material.* We have put all this training on our own Global Engagement site (using the Moodle platform) so that they can work through it sequentially. The five Nigerian trainees, Luka, Fred, Wale, Joshua, and David, are meeting together twice a week with Christie to pray and discuss what they are learning, as well as plan the implementation. Please pray for our trainees as they work through this training, that they understand it well, give us good feedback for the future, and that they will truly take to heart the lessons on being transformed themselves if they hope to transform society.
<p>The next thing we are working on is fundraising for equipment so that when these young men are ready, they will be able to start training centers in different places. They are also looking into working with existing schools to get them running a computer lab with TEN3 education. We're praying for someone much more gifted than any of our current team to head this project. But we are also excited that Christie will be visiting the US, where she will be speaking to churches. We pray that through her the Lord will open people's hearts to give toward this need.
<p>I am also continuing to work on primary school readers. Anthony has already converted the <i>McGuffey Eclectic Readers</i> to a workable format. A volunteer in New York is cleaning out all the obvious bugs from the conversion for me. Then I check it for needed context revisions and send it to Charis and Zangi in Zambia, who check it for appropriateness and put the pictures back in which the conversion process deleted. Then Edna in Zambia works with her son Ben through the lessons and gives me feedback about using it, and from there I do a final edit and publish it. Our prayer is to start literacy programs in TEN3 centers and in churches across Africa. As we grow strong readers and writers, we hope to see them form a jury committee and submit stories to replace the 19th-century American stories with African ones, that continue the spirit of teaching godliness as well as language skill.
<p>Please pray for all these endeavors as we continue to move forward by faith.
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*If you'd like to know more about any of this, contact me and I'd love to explain!JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-79085791966787999432018-04-12T19:26:00.002-05:002018-04-12T19:26:45.497-05:00My baby, my teacher<style type="text/css">
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<p>I really have to hand it to people with depression who still manage to function. This afternoon I didn't want to do <i>anything</i>. That is incredibly strange for me, because I usually want to do a few hundred things. Maybe because Nathanael woke me up three times last night and would not be soothed unless I nursed him, and I thought we were over this. Maybe because I had to get up early this morning and deal with vehicle stress, that makes me also stress about the bank balance. (Pickup's bit the dust, Old Blue is blowing smoke, and the Murano had a flat, prompting the serviceman to urge me that I really need to replace all four tires.) Maybe because of a message I got from someone about hurt sustained from people we both trusted and respected. Maybe because I felt guilty about falling asleep this afternoon and thereby preventing my husband from going to bed when he needed to.
<p>I decided to put Nathanael in his "exersaucer" and pray. I prayed for a while, not much more spiritual than, "God, I feel bad and don't want to." Then baby let me know he was done with the exersaucer, so I put him on the floor with me to play with toys. Watching my seven-month-old was like watching my own soul.
<p>He would reach for a toy and play with it a while (mouthing it of course), and then unintentionally push it out of his reach. Then he'd push up on his hands and knees, and rock back and forth, and then get frustrated that he wasn't going anywhere. But then something would make noise, and so he'd turn to his new diversion. But after a while, he decided he wanted Mama, and so again got up on his hands and knees and tried to come toward me. This time he was on his way to a meltdown. "I know, son," I told him. "It took a long time for you to build up the strength to push up like this, and it's taking a while to coordinate those little limbs. But you'll get there soon." Of course he didn't understand, so his face just kept turning red and his volume kept going up until I took him and pulled him close to me to nurse. Then he relaxed, snuggled, and nursed to sleep.
<p>I spend a lot of the day frustrated. How is it the laundry hamper is overflowing again, the sink is still not fixed, the bathroom needs cleaning again, I've got 30 emails to answer, and we've gone over budget again? Do I stink that bad at "adulting"? Then when I read something like <i>The Practice of the Presence of God</i>, then I <b>really</b> feel like a drooling baby being told I'm meant to <a href="https://jba-ten3.blogspot.com/2018/01/an-interlude-on-sea.html">walk on water</a> when I can't seem to even reach the thing right in front of me or say one sentence.
<p>Watching my baby reminded me again that our seemingly endless annoyances and setbacks are just part of the process. I don't know why we can't just learn the first time, but God doesn't judge by my "want to do it NOW" standards, but like a parent watching his child learn. And though I get so frustrated that I can't seem to reach Him, He will bring me up to Him to receive my daily Bread if only I'll relax and let Him.
<p>Thank You, Lord.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-91942151899783057022018-03-12T00:04:00.003-05:002018-03-12T00:19:26.907-05:00Vacation ReportExcept for my wedding and fixing up our house afterwards, I've never in these 8 1/2 years taken such a long vacation from TEN3. Yes, I'm one of those people who likes to work, and I am passionate about mine, but as I blogged about earlier, it was time for a break. So how did my vacation go? Well, here's what I set out to do, and the results:
<h3>Nathanael:</h3>
<b>Read and play with him.</b> Did a good bit of that. He's gotten to where he'll sit through and seem to enjoy all of <i>The Cat in the Hat</i> and <i>A Necklace of Virtues</i>, he sits up very well now with minimal support, and is pushing up on his hands and knees and rocking, trying to figure out the forward motion bit. Over the last two weeks he's gone from just drooling out any baby food I try to give him to swallowing almost all of it, so yay!
<h3>Personal:</h3>
<ul>
<li><b>Read Scripture each day:</b> I used to do this diligently, but since getting married, it seems like I never have a regular time that doesn't get interrupted, so I lapse. Over my vacation I did okay with this one. Between Psalm reading, my husband's and my Isaiah reading together, and what I read on my own, I'm pretty sure I read Scripture at least once every day or almost.
<li><b>Practice PianoBooster:</b> Kenneth got me a midi keyboard for Valentine's day since I discovered a free game designed under the same concept as Guitar Hero, but that actually teaches piano playing. I've dabbled with piano playing a few times in my life, and always find it relaxing when I do it. I practiced it a few times over the vacation, and had fun.</li>
<li><b>Practice jing te jutsu:</b> That's the martial arts class I'm in, and my instructor wants me to get ready for a promotion. Unfortunately, time when I'm not holding the baby gets eaten up pretty quickly, so I haven't practiced as much as I should. I've often told myself to get into a habit of taking a break from laptop work every 2 hours or so and just spend 15 minutes on it ... great idea, it would probably clear my head and give me more energy and all kinds of great stuff, but I seldom manage to do it. I'll try to be more conscious about it, and hopefully it will become easier now that Nathanael is starting food and won't be entirely dependent on nursing.
</ul>
<h3>House:</h3>
<ul>
<li><b>Hang Nathanael's blanket:</b> The wife of one of Kenneth's friends made a beautiful cross-stitch blanket that I wanted to hang in the baby's room. I puzzled for a while how to do it without damaging the walls of our rental house or the blanket, and came up with the Command hooks. Those are pretty amazing little inventions! I just stitched three little pieces of ribbon to the back of the blanket, secured three hooks to the wall, and put them through the pieces of ribbon.
<li><b>Frame for Jaclyn's picture:</b> This is a project that I started before I even got married. My sister drew me a sweet picture of me and my cat who died five years ago now. She set it in a cardboard frame with a plastic cover, and so I began to make a wood frame to support the picture so I could hang it. I had cut the wood (I used baseboard moulding), glued it, and bought stain/finish for it, but then had left it for a long time. Unfortunately, I had made a mistake in how I cut it, so the glue didn't hold. I tried over the vacation to correct the cut, but concluded I can't do it with our freehand saw. I'll have to try again later when I can use a better saw setup again. In the meantime, I realized I can hang the picture in just the cardboard frame with those nifty Command strips, so that's what I did.</li>
<li><b>Fix table:</b> The support for our drop-leaf dining room table broke about a year ago, and has been waiting to be fixed. I scraped the old glue off, which is the most tedious part, and drilled out the old broken dowels. I'll still need to buy and cut a new dowel, and consult with my dad on the best way to clamp it upon gluing, since it is curved.
<li><b>Water irises and mum:</b> Plants that were gifts, that don't normally need much water in winter, but with the severity of the drought, they might be dead. I've watered them, so we'll see if they come back.</li>
<li><b>Limeaway the semi-clogged faucet</b> Done!</li>
<li><b>Fix couch comforter:</b> Not done. I usually do sewing projects while in Skype meetings, so I'll have time in the future for this one.</li>
<li>Clean & babyproof:</li>
<ul>
<li>Vacuum, especially the edges: I've got the living room done, anyway, and sure enough, found several unsafe little items along the edges of the room. I got the kitchen floor done too, except for the corner where some of Kenneth's projects have pieces waiting to be put together. Will have to get those taken care of soon.</li>
<li>Scrub bathrooms: Fail, though I did get the floors done, anyway. I'll have to do this within the coming week.</li>
<li>Tidy up the kitchen counters - Did a pretty good job of that, especially considering how many odds and ends were strewn about them. It's still not where I want it to be, but it's a lot better than it was.</li>
<li>Move books up: We don't want the baby tearing up our books, so we'll need to get them off the bottom shelves, at least in the living room. Not done.</li>
<li>Secure movable shelves: We'll probably just keep him out of our bedroom where our movable shelves are, at least without supervision, but still should put up something to keep him from being able to tip the shelves over. Still need to do that.</li>
<li>Secure rifle: We have my grandad's handmade bolt-action .22, which we wanted in case of coyotes (which have already been a nuisance), or badgers or the like. But, definitely don't want that loaded or accessible when little one gets to exploring. Got the ammo stored out of reach and the rifle put in a hidden and hard-to-get-to spot. I think my parents said they'd bought a trigger lock for it, so that will be the last step.</li>
<li>Check nursery for other things to move/set up: Done.</li>
</ul>
<li><b>Fix sink faucet in spare bathroom</b>: Uuugh. I bought two different basin wrenches, which afforded me a little slow progress. This sink does not seem to have been designed with maintenance in mind.
<li>Fix dripping in shower - Didn't get to it.</li>
<li>Scrape bathroom wallpaper - Didn't get to this on either, though I hardly expected to. I am not one to run out of things to do!</li>
</ul>
I guess overall I'm happy with how my leave turned out. I got some precious family time, and a good chunk of household chaos conquered, so I thank God for that, and pray I may be able to continue to diligently use my time honoring Him as I begin work again. I am most of all thankful for the help God has given me to be more eager in my prayers, a little more cognizant of my need of Him, a little more affectionate ... a little closer to what Brother Lawrence has been reminding me to pursue.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6283412238835214887.post-42075398111675796712018-03-06T17:17:00.001-06:002018-03-06T17:23:27.000-06:00Practicing our own discipleship: Empty and full?<style type="text/css">
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"I know that for the right practice of it, the heart must be empty of all other things; because God will possess the heart alone. As He cannot possess it alone, without emptying it of all besides, so neither can He act there and do in it what He pleases unless it be left vacant to Him." (Fifth Letter)
<p>That presents a paradox I struggle with. In my youth it was easy to think that I must regard nothing but God, consider Him the only thing that truly exists. It was easy to sing the prayers that I be emptied of all else. Yet in recent years I find myself pondering the opposite, that He is not a God of emptiness. Indeed, as Creator of all and in all, how can my heart be full of Him except to be full of those things through which He reveals Himself? ... Yet again, why do those things so often distract me from God rather than draw me to Him?
<p>Such are the questions I'm pondering as I take a two-week vacation. Not traveling anywhere, but stepping back from my TEN3 responsibilities to enjoy my son as he learns to sit up, roll around, and eat from a spoon; to tackle several of the projects that have needed doing around the house (foremost, babyproofing it in anticipation of him very soon crawling); also, just to get some refreshment and perspective. I've been unusually discouraged lately, severely doubting that our efforts will really pan out at all. We've worked so hard for years and are still so far from seeing our vision come to pass. We still pray for 350 schools across Africa that offer better education than can be found anywhere and that foster true disciples of Jesus, and yet the few we've worked with have struggled terribly to stay viable.
<p>Anthony had asked me to pray about taking some more responsibilities with TEN3, and my impression so far is that we need someone new, not me. I feel that, despite years of learning and adapting, something is still missing that the current team isn't seeing. If the Lord gives me some sudden insight, I'm willing to take it and run with it. So perhaps God will give that to me, or perhaps He will bring someone else along to help. Frankly, I'd prefer that; I am strong in my curriculum development position, but I think I'd be weaker at these other things. I don't know, but please join with me in pleading for His leading still, for His presence to fill all our hearts and our every decision, that He can indeed do all He pleases in TEN3. Likewise, let's pray together to learn how to be empty and full--empty of the pride and lusts that sneak in through every little thing we fix our minds on, and instead full of God's grace and glory in all the ways He makes it manifest.JennyBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00953087625888952462noreply@blogger.com0