Thursday, January 17, 2019

"In Quietness and Trust"

It's been rather quiet in TEN3 lately. The ministry is still moving--Christie and her team have many endeavors they are working on, both with their own school and with various other schools in Nigeria, Tukiko told us they are preparing to open a second school in Bunda, TZ, and the Lord blessed us with the ability to ship about 80 laptops to Zambia for free. I am still working with editors on some literacy materials, and have quite a few projects still lined up to finish.

But we aren't starting anything new. Deliberately. No new projects in Curriculum. Consulting has put inquirers from three or four countries on hold. With Ken, our technology administrator and school consultant, preparing to retire, we will soon be down to four people: Jim, who prays and tells people about TEN3; Ray, who introduces new inquirers and mentors some of our African directors; and Anthony and me, who do everything else. Frankly, Anthony and I agree we can't do it anymore. Not like this.

We've been praying a long time for more people to come help us, and Maria, a long-time volunteer, has been approaching missions to try to get us some more help, but so far, we haven't had any takers. So we are seeking a face-to-face meeting with Christie, Tukiko, Collins, simply to pray about the direction TEN3 should take. Though Anthony and I already have our ideas of what needs to happen and what we would like to happen, we want to come in with open hearts, listening to our siblings as we ask, "Do you still share the vision? What do you want to accomplish? How can we help you do it with what we have to offer?"

We've always intended to hand over the leadership of the ministry to them. But this is not the situation in which we envisioned doing it. We planned to have a thriving training system, with certified teachers, administrators, and writers, with several clearly standing out as gifted and having been mentored with us for years. But our country directors don't have anybody who has completed certification. That's where I really question if the ministry can continue and thrive. And it's honestly scary to wonder if the vision we have so earnestly prayed over, rejoiced over, lost sleep over, and worked toward so hard for nine years (even longer for the rest of the team) believing God gave it to us, won't happen after all. That fear is exposing the worst in me, how much pride I still harbor, how little I trust God, even after so much.

And so, both this ministry and my life are in a state of quiet, waiting to see what direction all will take. What God has in store for TEN3, based on so many factors that we have tried to address and many we never saw coming. And what I will do in my own heart, if I will humble myself and trust Him come what may.

Pray for us.