Vacation Report

Except for my wedding and fixing up our house afterwards, I've never in these 8 1/2 years taken such a long vacation from TEN3. Yes, I'm one of those people who likes to work, and I am passionate about mine, but as I blogged about earlier, it was time for a break. So how did my vacation go? Well, here's what I set out to do, and the results:

Nathanael:

Read and play with him. Did a good bit of that. He's gotten to where he'll sit through and seem to enjoy all of The Cat in the Hat and A Necklace of Virtues, he sits up very well now with minimal support, and is pushing up on his hands and knees and rocking, trying to figure out the forward motion bit. Over the last two weeks he's gone from just drooling out any baby food I try to give him to swallowing almost all of it, so yay!

Personal:

• Read Scripture each day: I used to do this diligently, but since getting married, it seems like I never have a regular time that doesn't get interrupted, so I lapse. Over my vacation I did okay with this one. Between Psalm reading, my husband's and my Isaiah reading together, and what I read on my own, I'm pretty sure I read Scripture at least once every day or almost.
• Practice PianoBooster: Kenneth got me a midi keyboard for Valentine's day since I discovered a free game designed under the same concept as Guitar Hero, but that actually teaches piano playing. I've dabbled with piano playing a few times in my life, and always find it relaxing when I do it. I practiced it a few times over the vacation, and had fun.
• Practice jing te jutsu: That's the martial arts class I'm in, and my instructor wants me to get ready for a promotion. Unfortunately, time when I'm not holding the baby gets eaten up pretty quickly, so I haven't practiced as much as I should. I've often told myself to get into a habit of taking a break from laptop work every 2 hours or so and just spend 15 minutes on it ... great idea, it would probably clear my head and give me more energy and all kinds of great stuff, but I seldom manage to do it. I'll try to be more conscious about it, and hopefully it will become easier now that Nathanael is starting food and won't be entirely dependent on nursing.

House:

• Hang Nathanael's blanket: The wife of one of Kenneth's friends made a beautiful cross-stitch blanket that I wanted to hang in the baby's room. I puzzled for a while how to do it without damaging the walls of our rental house or the blanket, and came up with the Command hooks. Those are pretty amazing little inventions! I just stitched three little pieces of ribbon to the back of the blanket, secured three hooks to the wall, and put them through the pieces of ribbon.
• Frame for Jaclyn's picture: This is a project that I started before I even got married. My sister drew me a sweet picture of me and my cat who died five years ago now. She set it in a cardboard frame with a plastic cover, and so I began to make a wood frame to support the picture so I could hang it. I had cut the wood (I used baseboard moulding), glued it, and bought stain/finish for it, but then had left it for a long time. Unfortunately, I had made a mistake in how I cut it, so the glue didn't hold. I tried over the vacation to correct the cut, but concluded I can't do it with our freehand saw. I'll have to try again later when I can use a better saw setup again. In the meantime, I realized I can hang the picture in just the cardboard frame with those nifty Command strips, so that's what I did.
• Fix table: The support for our drop-leaf dining room table broke about a year ago, and has been waiting to be fixed. I scraped the old glue off, which is the most tedious part, and drilled out the old broken dowels. I'll still need to buy and cut a new dowel, and consult with my dad on the best way to clamp it upon gluing, since it is curved.
• Water irises and mum: Plants that were gifts, that don't normally need much water in winter, but with the severity of the drought, they might be dead. I've watered them, so we'll see if they come back.
• Limeaway the semi-clogged faucet Done!
• Fix couch comforter: Not done. I usually do sewing projects while in Skype meetings, so I'll have time in the future for this one.
• Clean & babyproof:
• Vacuum, especially the edges: I've got the living room done, anyway, and sure enough, found several unsafe little items along the edges of the room. I got the kitchen floor done too, except for the corner where some of Kenneth's projects have pieces waiting to be put together. Will have to get those taken care of soon.
• Scrub bathrooms: Fail, though I did get the floors done, anyway. I'll have to do this within the coming week.
• Tidy up the kitchen counters - Did a pretty good job of that, especially considering how many odds and ends were strewn about them. It's still not where I want it to be, but it's a lot better than it was.
• Move books up: We don't want the baby tearing up our books, so we'll need to get them off the bottom shelves, at least in the living room. Not done.
• Secure movable shelves: We'll probably just keep him out of our bedroom where our movable shelves are, at least without supervision, but still should put up something to keep him from being able to tip the shelves over. Still need to do that.
• Secure rifle: We have my grandad's handmade bolt-action .22, which we wanted in case of coyotes (which have already been a nuisance), or badgers or the like. But, definitely don't want that loaded or accessible when little one gets to exploring. Got the ammo stored out of reach and the rifle put in a hidden and hard-to-get-to spot. I think my parents said they'd bought a trigger lock for it, so that will be the last step.
• Check nursery for other things to move/set up: Done.
• Fix sink faucet in spare bathroom: Uuugh. I bought two different basin wrenches, which afforded me a little slow progress. This sink does not seem to have been designed with maintenance in mind.
• Fix dripping in shower - Didn't get to it.
• Scrape bathroom wallpaper - Didn't get to this on either, though I hardly expected to. I am not one to run out of things to do!

I guess overall I'm happy with how my leave turned out. I got some precious family time, and a good chunk of household chaos conquered, so I thank God for that, and pray I may be able to continue to diligently use my time honoring Him as I begin work again. I am most of all thankful for the help God has given me to be more eager in my prayers, a little more cognizant of my need of Him, a little more affectionate ... a little closer to what Brother Lawrence has been reminding me to pursue.

Practicing our own discipleship: Empty and full?

"I know that for the right practice of it, the heart must be empty of all other things; because God will possess the heart alone. As He cannot possess it alone, without emptying it of all besides, so neither can He act there and do in it what He pleases unless it be left vacant to Him." (Fifth Letter)

That presents a paradox I struggle with. In my youth it was easy to think that I must regard nothing but God, consider Him the only thing that truly exists. It was easy to sing the prayers that I be emptied of all else. Yet in recent years I find myself pondering the opposite, that He is not a God of emptiness. Indeed, as Creator of all and in all, how can my heart be full of Him except to be full of those things through which He reveals Himself? ... Yet again, why do those things so often distract me from God rather than draw me to Him?

Such are the questions I'm pondering as I take a two-week vacation. Not traveling anywhere, but stepping back from my TEN3 responsibilities to enjoy my son as he learns to sit up, roll around, and eat from a spoon; to tackle several of the projects that have needed doing around the house (foremost, babyproofing it in anticipation of him very soon crawling); also, just to get some refreshment and perspective. I've been unusually discouraged lately, severely doubting that our efforts will really pan out at all. We've worked so hard for years and are still so far from seeing our vision come to pass. We still pray for 350 schools across Africa that offer better education than can be found anywhere and that foster true disciples of Jesus, and yet the few we've worked with have struggled terribly to stay viable.

Anthony had asked me to pray about taking some more responsibilities with TEN3, and my impression so far is that we need someone new, not me. I feel that, despite years of learning and adapting, something is still missing that the current team isn't seeing. If the Lord gives me some sudden insight, I'm willing to take it and run with it. So perhaps God will give that to me, or perhaps He will bring someone else along to help. Frankly, I'd prefer that; I am strong in my curriculum development position, but I think I'd be weaker at these other things. I don't know, but please join with me in pleading for His leading still, for His presence to fill all our hearts and our every decision, that He can indeed do all He pleases in TEN3. Likewise, let's pray together to learn how to be empty and full--empty of the pride and lusts that sneak in through every little thing we fix our minds on, and instead full of God's grace and glory in all the ways He makes it manifest.